http://firstread.msnb...

In a speech four years ago at a Catholic University, Santorum apparently said:

"Satan is attacking the great institutions of America, using those great vices of pride, vanity, and sensuality as the root to attack all of the strong plants that has so deeply rooted in the American tradition."

Today there was issued a response from Lucifer, Unholy Devil and Adversary, Great Beast, Prince of Lies and King of Hell, who replied ".....what?"

When reporters repeated the allegations that Satan was attacking American institutions with "sensuality", Satan asked exactly what the hell that was supposed to even mean.

"I mean, seriously. How would I even do that? Give foot rubs to the Chairman of the Federal Reserve to distract him from the housing crisis?"

Asked if he denied Santorum's criticisms of employing "pride, vanity, and sensuality", the Devil said that sounded more like a list of Prince's girlfriends from the 80's. "I mean, shit, I suppose I'm destroying America with Carmen Electra. At least that's plausible."

When asked what tactics he would actually use to hurt America, Lucifer said he would elect Santorum as President.

Satan's sensuality? Is Santorum speaking from personal experience?

Satan's sensuality? Is Santorum speaking from personal experience?

Only for purposes of research . . . .